Self-Control

“Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.”
1 Corinthians 9:25

What is self-control?

When I am filled with the Holy Spirit, I have His power to help me control my actions. One of the fruits of the Holy Spirit is self-control.

Self-Control requires discipline. I will have to make choices. I can not just do what “feels good.” I have to be intentional. I have to chose to do the right thing even when I don't feel like.

John Wesley's mother is said to have told him “anything which increases the authority of the body over the mind is an evil thing.” When the mind rules, I am self-controlled. When the body rules, I lack control.

According to Billy Graham, in his book “The Holy Spirit ,” lack of self-control comes from two things:
1. physical appetite
2. mental habits

My physical appetites make self-control difficult. If I don't intentionally control them, I will fail. My physical appetites include: eating, fatigue, sexual desire, drinking, addictions, etc.

My mental habits occupy my mind. They either help me control my actions. Or they stop me. My mental habits include: love of money, desire for attention, jealousy, envy, anger, unhealthy desire to please people or things (idolatry), fantasizing, etc.

Why its important

Self-control is necessary to move from faith to love. 2 Peter 1:6 provides a progression. To participate in God's divine nature and escape the corruption of the world, follow this pattern. Starting with my faith => goodness => knowledge => self-control => perseverance => godliness => brotherly kindness => love. Loving God and loving people are the two greatest commandments.

Self-control is part of the process of growth. If I want to grow, I have to demonstrate self-control.

Conquering myself is better than conquering a city. (Proverbs 16:32) Self-control is conquering myself. Whatever I conquer I can control. I think controlling others by force is easier than controlling myself by choice.

Without self-control, I am vulnerable to the attacks of Satan. Just like a city whose walls are broken down is vulnerable to the attacks of its enemies (Proverbs 25:28) Cities built walls in the first place to keep out their enemies, both human and animal. Self-control builds up the walls of my life to keep Satan out.

How to do it

Self-control can be applied to acts of absorption and acts of self-denial. I refer to these acts as maximizers.

Read more about maximizers here

Jay E. Adams wrote a booklet called “Godliness Through Discipline.” Here are some principles from this booklet which I have used when practicing self-control.

1. I can not just “give up” a bad habit. I have to replace it with something better.

A few years ago, God convicted me of spending too much time monitoring the news. I watched the news 30 to 60 minutes of television each day and I surfed a couple of news web sites. Not too much by most peoples standards, but enough to impact my over all outlook on life. Most of the news is bad or, at least, not encouraging. It negatively effected my outlook.

I tried to stop, but it was too easy to drift back into the old pattern. However, once I replaced the daily news with the “Good News,” I was successful. Whenever I was tempted to review the news, I pulled out my pocket Bible and read for a while.

2. I can not just “add” another good habit to my already busy life. I have to be willing to give up something I am currently doing. This is the corollary of #1.

Recently, God convicted me that I needed to spend more time praying. Not just a little more, but 60 to 90 minutes more each day. I asked Him what He wanted me to give up to have more time to pray. I had to give up some of the time I was investing in mentoring people each day.

I shortened each of my appointments with the people I met with each day by 30 minutes. That provided the additional 60 to 90 minutes I needed to pray.

3. The long-term result of self-control is a habit.

Popular wisdom says it takes 21 days to develop a new habit if you are doing it every day. I have found that for me it takes nearly twice as long to develop a good habit like scripture memory or consistent prayer. In addition, it disappears quickly when not intentionally tended to.

On the other hand, I can develop bad habits very quickly with very little effort. At different times over the years with very little time or effort I have developed the habits of: eating too much, eating too late at night, drinking too much caffeine, watching too much television, being lazy at work, ignoring my wife and children, and many, others.

4. As a human, I live habitually.

Many of my habits are good. Brushing my teeth. Shaving and showering. Doing some calisthenics every day. Reading my Bible every day. Going to work everyday.

Some of my habits are sub-conscious. I don't know exactly how I dress myself each day, but I am sure that if you video taped me, day after day, you would see that I have some patterns in how I dress. I think that would be true for most of the areas of my life.

5. Structure and discipline bring freedom.

This is the hardest principle for me to get other people to believe. Most people think that doing what ever they feel like doing whenever they feel like it is ultimate freedom. Its not. Living by feelings results in being controlled by feelings.

I can't learn to drive a car, speak Spanish or write a computer program just because I feel like it at the moment. I need to work on these things even when I don't feel like it. Feeling like it might get me started. But feelings will not carry me through to the end. Instead I will quit.

I can not spend money however I feel like it. Eventually I will be so far in debt I can't get out.

I can not do my job, my homework, my workout, or my diet whenever I feel like it. I will get fired, fail the class, never grow any muscles and remain fat.

My schedule and my budget allow me to accomplish my long-term goals. I think of goals I want to accomplish when I am highly motivated and really “feel like it.” A schedule makes sure there is time to make it happen. Day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year. My schedule frees me to pursue my goals because there is time for them built into my schedule.

My budget allows me to buy the things that I want to buy. Just not always when I feel like buying them. Sometimes I have to wait. I have friends who can't wait. They use their credit cards so they can buy things when they feel like it. Now they are thousands of dollars in debt. They are enslaved to the need to make money to pay off their debts. There is no freedom in that.

God has given me a vision for my life. He has given you a vision for your life. Only by self-controlled use of our time and resources can we accomplish the plans He has for us.

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