GENTLENESS

“Be completely humble and gentle;
be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
Ephesians 4:2

What it means

The Greek word is praotees. Praotees does not translate readily into English. The best English words to represent praotees are gentleness and meekness. Gentleness and meekness suggest weakness, timidity, faintheartedness, and lack of courage. Praotees suggests none of these.

Artistotle gave us the classical Greek definition. Aristotle said that praotees is the middle ground between orgilotes, which means excessive anger, and aorgesia, which means excessive angerlessness. Praotees is between aggressiveness and passiveness.

Praotees suggests a sense of control. The control of my will. I control my will and subject it to the will of God.

One illustration of meekness is the war horse. A war horse can hear and smell battle. It has been trained to run into the midst of harm, not away from it. A well-trained horse without a rider will run onto the battlefield at the first sign of a fight. But with a rider, the horse must subject its will to that of the rider. The horse is not weak or timid, nor does it lack courage. It may appear that way, but the horse is under control. It is waiting for the rider to give it the signal to charge into the battle.

Another example would be a police or military attack dog. The dog is trained to take down an assailant. But the dog takes its cue from the handler. The dog controls its natural desire to attack until it is given the signal by its handler. The dog is not weak or timid, nor does it lack courage. But the dog is under control. It obeys the handler.

Another example would be soldiers in battle. They are trained to restrain themselves until receiving orders from their commanding officer.

In the spiritual world, I am suppose to be the meek one. I am suppose to submit my will to the will of God. I am suppose to take my cue from God. I don't have to be weak or timid, nor do I have to lack courage in order to be gentle and meek. But I am under control, I obey God.

That is praotees gentleness and meekness.

Why its important

The most important aspect of praotees meekness is its application toward God. I am suppose to demonstrate gentleness and meekness to other people. But demonstrating it toward God is most important. Submission to God will result in proper praotees meekness toward people. God has a plan for my life.

The Bible is clear about some things that are will of God. For instance:

To be joyful, pray continually, give thanks in everything. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

To be set apart and avoid sexual immorality (1 Thessalonians 4:3)

To do good (1 Peter 2:15)

God has a general will for my life. I can find a description of the general will of God in the Bible.

God also a plan for me. Its a very specific plan. Its based on my gifts, my personality, my experiences, my skills and my training. I have to spend consistent, regular time alone with God. By reading the Bible and praying, I can determine God's specific will for my life on a day-to-day basis.

Meekness is closely associated with humility. Humility is a prerequisite to praotees meekness. I have to be humble enough to realize that God's will for my life is more important than my will for my life. Then I will submit to His will.

Humility is an attitude. It allows me to accept His plan as best. Praotees meekness is the action that takes place in my life by following God's plan.

How do do it

Doing it is the hard part. First, I have to chose humility. My definition of humility is “the quality of being free from selfish interest looking instead to the plan of God.” Obeying the will of God is in my best interest. But I usually don't think of it that way.

Most people think that there are three choices: God's will, Satan's will and my own will. Using this model, my own will doesn't seem so bad. That is exactly what Satan wants me to think. Because he knows the truth.

Satan knows there are only two choices: God's will and not God's will. It doesn't matter where “not God's will” comes from. It could be Satan's ideas. It could be my ideas. But its still not God's will.

Example 1

Decades ago, God led me to make a career change. Over weeks of reading the Bible, praying, and counseling with godly men and women, God made it clear that it was His will for me to change careers. So I did. The interesting thing was that once I decide to apply praotees meekness and submit my own will to the will of God, I met resistance from people close to me. Many of them thought I was crazy.

I had a good job. I was good at it. They couldn't see how a career change was a good idea. I couldn't see the outcome. But I applied praotees meekness and followed God's leading. Since then God has made it clear that I did exactly what He wanted.

Praotees meekness will probably earn you some resistance from your friends. Human nature is to take control, not submit it to anyone, not even God. When you do, some people will think you are giving up control (which you are). Some people will think it is a sign of weakness (but its not).

Example 2

I once had a job that was different than some other jobs. I got to decide if I met the criteria for promotion. The guidelines were simple and well laid out.

Sell enough product. Produce enough profit for the company. Train enough newer employees. Participate in enough organizational development. Invest enough years in the firm.

Once I met the criteria, I could submit my career accomplishments for review by the bosses. If they believed I met or exceeded the requirements and if there was an available opening, I got promoted. In some ways it was like tenure and promotion at a university. Not exactly, but its the closest comparison I can think of.

I had reached the point where I believed I met the criteria. I had enough years, enough production, enough development. However, I was in no hurry to be promoted. My wife told me a few years earlier that she thought I was too focused on promotion and was not really enjoying life. So I was making adjustments and balancing my life. I would apply for promotion later.

Then I went to a conference. I was sitting in the front row. And God decided to speak to me about promotion. I have no idea what the speaker was talking about. God had something else to say to me. He brought passage after passage to mind. I sat there in the midst of 250 people having my own personal encounter with God about promotion.

He was clear. I was never to apply for promotion. As the years went by, people began to ask me when I was going to ask to be promoted. The assumption was that I would. To them it was only a matter of when.

At first I tried to explain it to them. But after three or four people looking at me like I was from another planet. I quit trying. Maybe I should have continued to be bold and testify to God's work and will in my life. But it was too hard to make them understand.

The good news was I applied praotees meekness to my life and obeyed the will of God. I never applied for promotion.

Example 3

In my current job, I have several people who I am responsible for. I have instituted some policies to help make us all more productive. Today, one of my co-workers violate one of the policies and suffered the consequences for it.

He waited outside my office for over an hour to tell me he disagreed with my policy. Up to this point, he never said anything about it. But now that he suffered the consequences he was not happy.

As he expressed his disagreement, I had to chose my response. My natural tendency is to defend myself and my policies. I confess, today, I gave in to my natural tendency. I defended myself and I wanted him to understand why I do things the way I do. The meeting went poorly and he left.

I've had similar encounters in the past. At other times I have responded with praotees meekness. I have accepted the fact that God wants me to interact with the person. My natural tendency to defend myself is still there. But instead, I submit to the will of God. I listen. I believe that God wants me to hear what the person has to say. I think God wants me to understand the other person's position and hear them out.

He wants me to respond out of obedience to Him, not out of having my feelings hurt.

Praotees meekness requires a good understanding of who God is. It also requires a good understanding of who I am. An incorrect understanding of who God is or of who I am in Jesus Christ will cause me to look for ways to validate myself without submitting to the will of God.

Human nature tells me that being in control of my life is a sign of strength. God tells me that praotees meekness is the real sign of strength. Not the control of my life, but the control of my will.

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